Hideo Nomo Has a Posse

I’M OLIVER STONE HANGING OUT WITH FIDEL CASTRO.

Here I am, hanging out with Fidel Castro.

HEE HEE HEE laughing at Field’s witticism.

HO HO HO laughing at something else that ole Fidel said.

LOOKIT ME in the car with Fidel Castro.

Seriously, look at the poster. Doesn’t it make you want to brutalize something? The only thing worthwhile about this steaming pile is that it nicely sets up MARLEY AND ME 2: THE RETURN which features the zombified Marley rising from the game and tearing the faces from everyone featured in this one EXCEPT ALAN ARKIN for he is great, and really, I could watch Alan Arkin read tax regulations. I want Alan Arkin to be my father, therapist, best friend, confidante, lawyer, priest, coach, etc etc etc. THE MAN IS A LIVING LEGEND. Not to be confused with Alan Alda.

I am now shopping early treatments for MARLEY AND ME 2: THE RETURN. Inquire within. Serious offers only. This one’s going to kick some ass. Think Old Yeller meets 28 Days Later, people.

One of the worst movies I’ve seen in years. Could not figure out whether it was more irritatingly stupid, or stupidly irritating. The movie’s crew cannot be blamed too much: I think the fault truly lies in the underlying novel- the whole conceit is just DUMB. I sold all of my Chuck Palahniuk novels, sans Fight Club, in protest.

I hated this movie, and I hope it suffers.