Hideo Nomo Has a Posse

Courtesy of Boing Boing, a collection of anxious surrealist art from Japanese artist Tetsuya Ishida. Completely captivating and sad. ¶

The Padres squeaked out a win tonight, beating the Cardinals 1-0 in the first of a three-game series. Jon Garland started for the Pads and came out erratic, throwing 61 pitches through the first three innings. He settled down nicely as the game wore on, all in all throwing 106 pitches for seven innings of work, striking out one per, and earning the win.

The Cardinals’ Adam Wainwright arguably pitched better: seven innings of work and twelve strikeouts; the only earned run charged was a solo shot by Jerry Hairston. Wainwright’s stuff was more varied as well- if Gameday’s any true indicator, he threw 15% fastballs, 45% sinkers, and 37% off-speed stuff. Dude’s just got an impressive arsenal, and the Padres were lucky to come across with what they did and have their pitching keep them in it…

.. which it has been doing all year. It’s simply amazing, what they are doing, even though you have to doubt their ability to maintain it. Look at their rankings among all of MLB:

Combine those pitching numbers with a team defense that’s posting a sick 19.9 UZR (second in the league), a 19.7 range runs above average (Fangraphs’ measurement of the number of runs above average a fielder is) for first, and you have one run-suppressing suffocation machine.

How long can it last? We’re watching with our fingers crossed to be sure, but here it is May 25 already; cerainly still early, but a nice body of work.

I don’t know if you know San Diego- but I sure am ready to move out of the Gaslamp District! As I type, type, type this just outside the window is the boom boom boom of some godawful nightclub and the woo woo woo of lots of drunk people. ¶

OK, now have some video footage from the debut of Billy Ray “Rojo” Johnson for the Round Rock Express that I mentioned in an earlier post. Dude throws some serious junk.

You know- I’m really surprised MLB sanctioned this, what with guzzling a beer on the mound. I salute them, though, because it’s awesome. ¶

Mariners “offense” at a glance:

OPS .633, last in the AL; SLG .327, last in the AL; batting .233, second to last in the AL; 91 runs scored for- wait for it- last in the AL; runs–

Oh, well, let’s just do this. Other statistical categories in which the Mariners are last in the American league: runs per game (3.37), runs created (96), OPS+ (76), and ISO- catch your breath- .094.

That being said, they are still not last in the AL West, nor do they have the worst, or second worst record in the American League.

It’s only May. ¶

Box scores often fail to tell the whole story. They don’t convey the magic of the narrative, the real magic that catches our eye and makes us fall in love with the game. Stories like tonight’s debut of RHP Billy Ray “Rojo” Johnson for the AAA Round Rock Express.

What? Never heard of Billy Ray “Rojo” Johnson? Let’s fill in the blanks…

Johnson, who was born in East Texas but was raised in Venezuela, recently had his prison sentence commuted. He served time for running a smuggling ring that imported rare and illegal species of reptiles into the United States from South America during the mid-to-late 1990s.

Ah yes. Homeboy didn’t just smuggle lizards, he ran the whole damned smuggling ring. He’s the Godfather of Gecko, if you will. I wish the story had more detail: I’m terribly curious about what’s a “rare and illegal species of reptile” versus, I don’t know, the run of the mill gecko scurrying about your garage. ¶